are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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