Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
