how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
