I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
