Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
