yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
