do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
