how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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