drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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