i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
