I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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