the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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