I don't usually arrange sex via text message
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I believe in your delicious
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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