You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
