When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
