It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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