if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I will pee on everything he values.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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