guys are not supposed to queef...right?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
