i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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