Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
