For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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