Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
