It's like a parade of train wrecks.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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