dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
