i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
