I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
