I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
