Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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