yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
