i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
