Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
