so explain again why im purple
no
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
