his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
