hell yes lets make some ravioli
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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