Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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