I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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