Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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