oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
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She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
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Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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