You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
