i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize