her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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