Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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