The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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