What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Yo dont text me then not text me
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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