Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
