I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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