ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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