just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
