i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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