we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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