i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
