You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
