There is no way he is gay with that hair.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
