For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
