I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
