I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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