Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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