no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
