I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
