Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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