thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
